Risk
by vanpatt5
Summary: Mac learns to take a risk with a women he meets in a book store. Mac/OC CHAPTER ONE REDONE AS OF APRIL 24th.
1. The Meeting

A/N: I decided to revamp this story and make it less, well, sucky! So, as of 04/24, chapter one has been redone and I'll update the rest of the chapters within the weekend.

Disclaimer: All I own is Boston.

* * *

Mac hated days off. To combat this hated, he'd devised a comprehensive plan of attack to deal with his time off. He'd go for his daily swim, do a load laundry, tidy up his apartment, and run a few errands. And without fail, by midmorning, he'd be out of things to do, left sitting, twiddling his thumbs, internally debating whether it was too early to sneak into work. Deciding that it was, indeed, too early, he'd kill another few hours flipping through forensic journals, reorganizing his meager DVD collection, or restringing his bass. Then, just before lunch, he'd stride into the lab, ignoring the looks shot his way by various lab techs. It was a routine that he'd perfected over the years and practiced it like clockwork.

Except for today. Today was different. Today was his birthday. And the only thing stopping him from walking into the lab was Stella. She'd called this morning and just after greeting him with a joyous _Happy Birthday_, she'd threatened bodily harm if he stepped foot into the lab. If it had been anyone else, Mac would've instantly reprimanded them for using such harsh words with him, the boss. But, he'd been working with Stella long enough to know that she was only looking out for him. And that she meant ever word of it.

That's why he was standing just outside his favorite bookstore desperately looking to kill some time. Pushing open the heavy of the door, he took a quick look around, noting any oddities. It was a habit created during his days as a Marine and reinforced with his years as a detective.

The store was small, crowded with books, and almost eerily quiet. It was nestled in middle of a busy area, but rarely ever housed more than one other customer. Although the limited clientele wasn't all that surprising considering that it specialized in math and science books.

Taking a deep breath and savoring the unique smell of the books, Mac walked further into the shop and nodded toward the gentleman behind the register. He'd been coming here for years, ever since finding it one lazy Sunday exploring the city with Claire, and the gentleman was always there, perched behind the register, his hear barely sticking out above a stack brochures announcing various book signings. And yet, despite the fact that he been a regular customer for over fifteen years, Mac still knew nothing of the man? What his name was; was he the owner; what's the story behind the store?

Promising himself that he'd make polite chitchat when he checked out, Mac skirted his way through the maze of books back to the forensic science section and began flicking through the new releases, letting the time escape him.

A while later Mac heard the door chime. "Hey, Mr. Kipsen. How's my favorite bookseller?" came a chipper voice from the front of the store.

"Hi, Autumn. We just got some new books in. There back in the math section," a deep voice answered. "And Autumn? There's no need to suck up. You'll still get your usual discount."

Mac heard the woman make her way back towards where he was standing and stop when she saw him. "Oh!" she gave a startled laugh. "I don't think I've ever seen anyone else in here."

Looking up from the book he was skimming through, Mac came face to face with a young woman, probably in her mid twenties, he estimated. He liked how her brown hair was slightly wavy and how her bangs feel into her eyes. She had glasses on and Mac wondered what she would look like without them. She was dressed in jeans and a fitted blazer, with a bright, cannery yellow t-shirt underneath, giving her a youthful yet sophisticated look. He wondered where she worked. Definitely somewhere casual enough to let her wear jeans to work. Maybe at a fashion firm or an art dealership. But then why was she browsing through a bookstore during the afternoon of a work day? It could be her lunch hour. No, Mac reasoned, it was nearing two o'clock, a tad late for lunch.

_What am I doing?_ Shaking his head, Mac pushed the question of _why_ he was thinking all this about a stranger out his head. He turned away suddenly when he realized he'd been staring at her for a good ten seconds.

"I just need to squeeze passed you," the lady said as she tried to get around him. The aisle was small and Mac tried to press himself as close as possible to the bookcase in front of him. Nevertheless, he could still feel her body rub against his as she slid behind him and found that it actually felt sort of good.

She laughed softly, clearly trying to ease the awkwardness. "That was only mildly inappropriate." She waited for some kind of response, but he didn't know what to do. Finally he gave a forced smile that he knew must have looked creepy.

But if she found it to be odd, she didn't say anything. Instead she sent him a smile back, as she took a step backwards. "Not much of a talker? That's okay; it is a bookstore after all." Mac found something undeniably fascinating about the way she crinkled her nose and winked at him. And then she was gone, sliding around the corner and out of Mac's eyesight.

He wished she would come back. He wanted to talk to her and run his fingers though her hair. Slamming the book in his hand down, he swiftly made his way towards the exit. He had to get away from here; he had to get away from her. He was a man of control and right now he felt like he was spiraling out of control. He didn't lust after complete strangers. He couldn't be feeling this way; he shouldn't be feeling this way. He needed to work.

* * *

"Mac Taylor!" Mac immediately recognized Stella's voice as he exited the elevator. Ignoring her, he made a B-line for his office. Not one to be deterred, she simply placed her hands on her hips and followed him in. "What are you doing here?"

"What's it look like, Stell?" Mac said sharply, placing his jacket on the back of his chair and started to roll his sleeves up.

"It's your birthday and your day off. Go home. Eat some cake. Have some fun. I was completely serious when I said I'd kick your –"

Mac reached to undo his gun from his pants and noticed that his badge was missing. Glancing down, he searched the floor immediately around him. "Do you see my badge," he asked, effectively cutting Stella off.

Frowning, she looked around. "Are you sure you were wearing it?"

Mac frowned and sent her a steely look. "Yes, I'm sure. Damnit. Do you know how much paperwork is involved to report a missing badge?"

Mentally retracing his steps, he realized that he must have lost it at the bookstore. He'd have to go back. Hopefully _she_ wouldn't still be there.

He was jolted out of his thoughts when his office phone rang. Picking it up a little too roughly he barked, "Taylor." There was a moment's pause before he gave a grunt and slammed the phone down. Grabbing his jacket, he pushed passed Stella, back towards the elevator. Not one to be left out of the loop, Stella followed him. Finally, sighing he said, "Somebody dropped my badge off at the front desk."

"Well that's convenient," Stella smiled. "After you pick it up, you can use the main exit to leave."

As they stepped off the elevator, Mac's heart dropped when he saw the girl from bookstore leaning against the welcome desk. She was chatting animatedly with the receptionist. Glancing up, the receptionist instantly straightened up when she saw Mac. "Detective Taylor," she said with a shaky voice. "This woman found your badge."

The lady turned around to face Mac and Stella and smiled when she recognized Mac. "You must have lost it at the bookstore." She handed him the badge and Mac ignored the chill that ran down his back as their fingers brushed.

When Mac didn't say anything, Stella stepped in. "Hi, I'm Stella Bonasera. Thanks for returning his badge."

The woman nodded, "No problem. I felt it was my civic duty. I'm Autumn Cooper." She smiled at Mac who just stared at her. "Okay, then," she said after a moment. "I'm gonna go."

She was almost out the door before Mac shouted a little too loudly, "I'm Mac!" She turned around and crinkled her nose at him and he felt his stomach flutter. He lowered his voice, but continued to stammer, "Taylor…I'm Mac Taylor. Detective Mac Taylor."

Autumn nodded her head and teased, "Can I call you Mac for short?"

Seriously, Mac nodded his head, "Yes."

Stella tried not to laugh at Mac's behavior. "I need to run. It was nice meeting you Autumn. And Mac, get outta here. Enjoy your birthday."

Mac said his goodbyes to Stella before turning back to Autumn. "So," she grinned, "you're a birthday boy?"

He gave a quick nod, before looking down to hook his badge back onto his pants. "Do you wanna get a cup of coffee? My treat." Her question startled him. Looking up, he felt a frown and a questioning look settle on his face. He hated doing this kind of stuff. He hated _dating_; he was a relationship kind of guy, and even that he wasn't very good at. It had been several months since his last date, which had ended so poorly that he hadn't even bothered to ask a woman out since.

He saw the look of dejection flash over Autumn's features, and he realized that he'd been silent for far too long. While he was racking his brain for a way to let her down easy, she cut in, "It's obvious you don't want to go to coffee. Its okay, I'm not offended. It was nice meeting you." She turned away and walked out of the lab.

A disapproving _Hmmm_ came from the receptionist. Mac turned and sent her glare, sending her back to work. He stood there for a second. He should be glad that she was gone. He hadn't had to reject her and know he could go on with his day. But suddenly his plans to go back to work didn't seem so inviting. As he thought more about it, he came to the conclusion that this day could go one of two ways. He could get back into the elevator, return to work, and deal with one very pissed off Stella. Or he could go out the automatic doors, into the chilly October air, and have a cup of coffee with an attractive woman.

He heard a delighted giggle from the receptionist as he made his way across the tiled floor and outside. Looking both ways, he saw Autumn half a block up, dodging through the crowded sidewalk. Breaking into a jog, it took Mac less than half a minute to catch up with her. Lightly tapping her elbow to gain her attention, he waited until she turned around before saying, "I know a little coffee shop not too far from here." The words had escaped his mouth without much thought but he was pretty proud of how smooth they sounded.

She came to a stop, forcing the foot traffic to move around them. She gave him a hesitant look and for a second, Mac thought she was going to reject him. But then she gave him a small smile. "Ya sure?"

No, he wasn't sure. He was never sure when it came to matters like this. But he felt drawn to her, in a way that he hadn't felt in a very long time. And that scared him. But he forced himself to take a deep breath of chilly air and nod his head.

She smiled again and they fell into step beside each other. "So, where's this place at?"

He gestured down the street. "It's nothing special, but they have decent coffee."

"I'm sure it's great." She pulled her jacket tighter around her body and Mac admired her curves from the corner of his eye. "So...you're a detective?"

It took Mac a moment to realize that she was talking to him. Nodding, he replied, "Yeah. Actually, I'm a CSI. A crime scene investigator."

"Really?" She looked impressed. "So you, like, swab things and collect DNA, and all that good stuff."

Mac let out a laugh, "To put it simply."

Autumn grinned when he laughed, "That's pretty awesome."

Mac realized that it was his turn to make conversation. "What do you do?" he asked lamely.

"I wish I could say that I do something cool like arrest criminals, but I just teach math at NYU."

Mac cocked his eyebrow; not what he had imagined, but still very impressive. She looked too young to be teaching at a university. "What kind of math?"

"Differential equations and derivative securities," she said simply.

Mac nodded. "That's definitely higher than I ever got in college."

"Well, I'm sure that you know more about chemistry and biology than I ever want to know."

"I suppose," Mac said. So, she was pretty and smart. What was he getting into? _Nothing_, a voice in the back of his head told him, _it's just coffee._ "Here it is." He pulled the door open of an out-of-the-way coffee shop and waited for her to walk in first. He quickly followed behind here and unzipped his jacket.

Looking up at the menu, Autumn mumbled, "So, what's good here?"

Mac shrugged, "I've only had black coffee."

"How many times have you come here?" she asked glancing back at him.

He shrugged again, "I don't know. A couple times a week."

Cocking her eyebrow, she turned so that she could fully see his face, "You come here a couple times a week and you've only had black coffee?" He nodded. "That's boring! At least put a shot of something in it. Or try a flavored coffee." He frowned, and she quickly added, "But, then again, at least you know what you like, unlike me who has to try something new every time."

He waited for Autumn to order her drink before he stepped up to the register. "I'll have..." It was now or never. He was either going to step out of his box and embrace life or stay in his safe, sheltered, boring bubble forever. "...I'll have a hot chocolate."

Autumn looked up from the CD she was looking at and grinned. "There ya go, Detective. Go wild!" Mac smiled lightly and started to pay the barista. "Hey, hey. My treat, remember?" she quickly pulled a twenty out of her pocket and slid it towards the cashier. "Oh, and we'll take a cupcake."

After they got their drinks and had sat down at a corner table, Autumn handed him the cupcake. "Happy Birthday!"

Mac took the cupcake, "Thanks."

"So," she said taking a drink of her latte, "how old are you?" Mac raised his eyebrow in disbelief. "I'm sorry if that was rude."

Mac was silent for a moment before he finally answered, "Forty-six. How old are you?" She gave him a disbelieving look. "Fair's fair."

"True." She nodded. "Let's just say I'm younger." They were both silent for a moment before Autumn caught a glimpse at his watch. She jerked his wrist so that she could get a better look at it. "I hate to run, but I have to teach a class in forty minutes."

Jumping to her feet, she threw on her coat and quickly grabbed her bag. "Thanks agreeing to coffee. I had a really good time." She waited for his response, but started to walk towards the exit when he remained silent. He didn't know what to do. He wanted to see her again, but there were so many things stopping him. Her age, the fact that he barely knew her, he worked too much, he had too much baggage. There were just too many things holding him back. But he was tired of being held back.

"Autumn!" he called, jumping to his feet. "Can I see you again?"

Grinning, she whirled around to face him. "I'd like that."

* * *


	2. Chances

A/N: Thanks so much for all the wonderful reviews. I'm so glad that you all are liking this story. I'll try to update once more before Thanksgiving, but I make no promises. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: All I own is Autumn, Jason, and Paul.

* * *

"Wow!" Autumn heard a voice say from behind her. Turning around she saw her roommate Jason standing in her doorway. "You look hot!"

Feeling a blush settle into her cheeks, Autumn turned back towards her dresser before Jason saw it. "Thanks."

"Got a hot date?" Obviously, he hadn't gotten the clue.

Autumn shrugged and continued rummaging through her jewelry box looking for the perfect pair of earrings. "Just some guy I meet the other day."

"Just some guy?" Autumn heard her bed creak and sighed. He wasn't leaving anytime soon. "You put on your sexy shoes."

"Jason!" Autumn whirled around laughing. "It's just a guy I had coffee with."

"Is he hot?" Jason laid back and propped his head up with a hand.

Autumn had to think about it. She wasn't sure that Mac qualified as hot. Sure, he was attractive...really attractive. But he was also mysterious and distinguished. There was definitely something alluring about him, but she wasn't quite sure that hot was the best way to describe him. "He's attractive…and sexy." She paused for a moment and then nodded, "Yeah, I guess he's kinda hot."

"When's he picking you up?"

Autumn glanced over at her alarm clock. "Five minutes ago." Her heart sank; she didn't know Mac all that well, but he didn't seem like the type of guy who would be late.

Jason read her mind. "He's just running late. He'll be here." Just then the doorbell rang. "Lookie lookie. I'm psychic." He climbed off her bed and followed her out of her bedroom. "Go get 'em Tiger," he said swatting her butt.

She jumped a little and started laughing as she peeked through the peephole. "It's just Paul," she said dejectedly opening up the door, not bothering to greet their guest.

"Nice to see ya, too, Autumn."

"Her date's late," Jason said greeting his boyfriend.

"Well," Paul said flopping down on the couch beside Autumn, "you can watch _Rent_ with us while you wait."

"Goodie," Autumn mumbled sarcastically.

* * *

Autumn was running late as always. _Memo to self: Never teach a morning class again_. As she rounded the corner she stopped in her tracks, knocking into the student behind her. "Sorry," she mumbled and continued walking towards her office.

Mac saw her approach and stood up from the bench that was positioned outside her door. "Hi." He said quietly. She ignored him, unlocked her door, and walked into her office. He shuffled his feet for a second, not sure of what to do. She obviously didn't want to talk to him and he couldn't blame her. After all, he had stood her up. It wasn't that he hadn't wanted to go out with her. He had made it all the way to her building where he stood outside for forty-five minutes trying to summon the courage to buzz her. But he couldn't. He just kept playing different scenarios in his head. What if he didn't like her? What if she didn't like him? What if they both liked each other? What if they started something and she dumped him? Mac wasn't sure he was ready to put his heart on the line again. So, he had walked around the city thinking. He thought of the first time he met Claire. She had been playing volleyball in Bryant Park with some of her friends. He had just returned to Chicago from basic training and was walking his parents' dog. Their ball sailed towards him and he caught it with ease. Looking up to see where it had come, he saw the most beautiful girl he had ever seen running towards him with a smile playing on her lips. She had grabbed the ball from him and asked if he wanted to join their game. He shook his head, but she had been persistent. Before he knew what was happening, the girl was dragging him towards the field, giggling about how he needed to loosen up.

He had thought about the first time Peyton had kissed him. They had been meeting for coffee for a few months and then one evening he had walked her home. She had reached into his pocket and slipped her hand into his. He turned to look at her but she kept staring straight ahead, acting like nothing usual had happened. When they finally got to her apartment, she leaned up and gave him a quick peck on the lips and shut the door in his face. Dumbly, he had stood outside her apartment for five minutes before finally knocking. When she answered, he pushed the door open wider and cupped the back of her neck, pulling her in for a deeper kiss. Pulling away, he grabbed her hand, gave it a quick squeeze, and then walked down the hallway, leaving them both with a smile.

Then he had thought of Autumn. There was something enchanting about her. She seemed so different from himself. She was optimistic, took risks, and seemed like a genuinely nice person. He also knew that he was being a hypercritic. He had told Stella that the risk of a relationship was worth the rewards, and here he was avoiding a woman he was interested in because he didn't want to chance getting hurt. It was about time that he let go of his inhibitions and chased after a woman. By the time he had pulled his head out of ass and realized that he liked Autumn and wanted to spend time with her, it was already midnight. He had promised himself that he'd go down to NYU the next morning and stand outside her office until he had righted his wrong. And that's how he had gotten here; shuffling awkwardly outside her office, not knowing rather to go in or not. Finally, he stepped into the doorway. "I'm...I'm sorry."

She looked up from her computer and stared at him. "Did you have to work?" Her tone was even, but it wasn't overtly nice.

"No," he said quietly, looking down at his shoes.

"Are you married?"

"No."

"Did you suddenly come down with a deathly illness that prevented you from picking up the phone?"

Mac sighed, "No."

"Okay, then. I think we're done." She started shuffling papers around and hostilely shoved a whole stack into her bag. She grabbed a large text book and moved closer to Mac. "I have class. You need to leave."

"Can I please stay," Mac asked looking up.

She scoffed, "No."

"You can trust me," Mac said quietly.

She pushed him out the door and locked it behind her. Turning to look at him, she snapped, "I can trust you? I don't even know you. Now, you need to leave." She shoved passed him and turned a corner. Slumping back into the bench, he started to mentally beat himself up.

* * *

He heard her before he saw her. When she finally came into his view, Mac realized she was talking to a student. Her shoulders slumped and Mac heard a soft sigh escape her lips when she saw that he was still sitting on the bench. She wordlessly unlocked her office door as the student gave Mac a onceover. He remained sitting outside to give her and the student some privacy, but he could hear her fumbling through some papers. "I know I have your test here somewhere," he heard her grumble. He was surprised she knew where anything was in there. Mac had quickly looked it over when he had been in there earlier. There were books everywhere. They were stacked two deep on her bookshelves and were placed strategically on the floor. A foot deep pile of papers covered her entire desk, except where her keyboard and phone were. Mac had also noticed brightly colored post-it notes placed around her computer screen. The small room had a faint smell of chalk, which he figured was from the chalkboard that was pressed against the far wall in back of her desk. Different symbols and numbers were scribbled along it in small, messy handwriting and Mac had no idea what the equation meant.

When the student finally left, Mac slowly entered her office. Her back was to him and she was shuffling though some more papers. He cleared his throat, "I...um, I brought you some coffee." Turning around, she looked at him, but remained silent. Shifting his weight back and forth, Mac broke the silence. "I wasn't sure what you liked, but I remembered you said you'd try everything, so I just got ya a French Vanilla coffee. I hope that's okay."

After a minute she raised her arm to take it, but then let her hand drop. She was silent for a few moments before she finally grabbed the coffee. "Thanks," she said quietly. Taking a sip, she licked her lips and then continued, "Listen, Mac. I'm not _that_ kinda girl." Mac frowned and gave her a questioning look. "I'm not the type of girl that you can flake out on plans with and then expect her to take you back the next morning. If you want that kinda girl, then you need someone else."

"I don't want that kinda girl," Mac said softly.

"I think you do." She paused for a minute. "You stood me up, Mac." He nodded. "Do you know the last time I was stood up?" She didn't wait for his answer. "Never. I've never _been _stood up and I've never stood someone else up...I ended up spending last night all dressed up with my roommate and his boyfriend watching musicals. Because _you_ stood _me_ up."

Mac took a step forward. "I know. And I'm sorry. I was…" Sighing, Mac ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm not good at this kinda thing. I'm overly cautious about things like this. But, please, don't confuse my hesitation with indifference. I _want _to get to know you. Just give me a chance."

"I already gave you a chance, Mac. And you blew it." She paused, and for a second Mac thought she _was_ going to give him a second chance. But then she started talking and he knew he was wrong. "Thanks for the coffee. But, please leave."

Mac thought about objecting, but how could he? _He _had blown it. _He _was the one that stood her up. _He_ was the one that was emotionally crippled. So, he just nodded his head and walked out.

* * *

Mac looked up from his desk when he heard a knock at his door. Stella smiled at him as she slipped into his office. Sitting down on one of his chairs, she just stared at him. Sighing, he finally relented. "What?"

"How was your coffee date the other day?" Her voice was a little too eager for Mac's liking.

He thought about lying to her, but then she may be able to help. Sure she'd lecture him about what an ass he had been, but maybe she would also give him some advice. "Fine. I asked her out."

Her eyes popped and her smile grew. "That's fantastic!"

Sighing, Mac set down the file that he had been reading. "And then I stood her up."

"Mac!" Her mouth dropped. "Why?"

"I don't know. I was scared...I was an idiot." Leaning back in his chair, he looked at Stella. "I tried to go and see her this morning, but she shut me down pretty quickly.

"Good for her."

Frowning, Mac crossed his arms across her chest. He wasn't sure if he had heard her right. "Excuse me?"

Stella moved forward in her seat, "You heard me. Good…For…Her." She emphasized each word. Confusion was written all over Mac's face and Stella had to laugh. He could be so dense sometimes. "You treated her like crap, Mac, and she had enough balls to tell you so. She stood up to the Great Mac Taylor." Standing up, she moved her hands over her pants, trying in vain to dewinkle them. She winked at him on her way out. "That's the kinda woman you need." Mac sat in office, alone, thinking about how familiar that phrase seemed.

* * *

"Oh no! She's got the ice cream," Jason said as he and Paul walked into the apartment. Autumn was sprawled on the couch eating directly out of a pint of ice cream. She ignored the boys and continued watching the TV.

"What ya watchin'?" Paul asked as he moved her feet and sat down beside her.

"_Bridges of Madison County_," Autumn mumbled, taking another scoop of ice cream.

"Wow! Someone's being dramatic today," Jason shouted from the kitchen.

"He came by my office," she said simply.

Jason peeked his head into the living room, "The guy who didn't show last night?"

"Yep."

Jason pulled a chair close to the couch, sat down, and put his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. "Please dish."

Sighing, Autumn sat up a little straighter. "He came by to apologize and ask for another date."

"And?"

"And I shot him down."

"WHY?" Jason yelled.

Paul sent death glares towards him, and asked Autumn in a gentler tone, "Why?"

"Umm, he stood me up!" she said sarcastically.

"People make mistakes. At least he came and apologized. That tells you he has _some_ character."

Autumn didn't reply. Maybe she had been too hard on Mac. Maybe he just needed to take things a little slower than she was used to. Maybe she should have given him another chance.


	3. It All Adds Up

A/N: As always, thanks for the reviews. This will be the last update until sometime next week. Happy Thanksgiving! (And if you don't celebrate, then have a good Thursday).

Disclaimer: All I own is Autumn, Jason, and Paul.

* * *

"Wow," Autumn said as she turned the corning to her office, "I think I just got Déjà vu."

Mac stood up from the bench and mumbled, "Yeah." He followed her into her office and looked around aimlessly while she set her stuff down. It had been two days since Mac had stood her up and he decided to give himself one more shot to win her over. Once she was done, she looked at him with an unreadable expression. Mac hated that he was feeling unnerved by her. _Get a grip_, he thought, _she's just a girl_. Taking a deep breath, he started slowly, "Will you please just hear me out? And then if you still hate me, I promise I'll never come around again." Autumn nodded gently. "I actually…uh, I made up a, uh, a math problem for you to solve." Mac blushed. It had seemed like such a good idea last night when he was lying in bed trying to come up with a way to apologize to Autumn. But now Mac felt like a dumbass as he looked at her smirking face. Clearing his throat, he tugged at the collar of his dress shirt, "There once was a woman as beautiful as a thousand red roses and a man who was as stupid as a dozen jackasses. One day the man made a huge mistake. It was the dumbest thing that he had ever done multiplied by a hundred. He regretted it for the next seventy-two hours and hoped the woman had a heart twenty times as big as his, and that she would give him a second chance. What are the odds that she'd do that?"

Mac stood silently, rocking on his heels and waited for her to say something, anything. He felt his heart sink when she finally said softly, "that wasn't really a math problem." He nodded his head sadly and started to leave. "But, if I had to solve it, I would say his odds were pretty good."

When he turned back around, he saw a faint smile playing on her lips. "So…Do you wanna go out with me this Friday?"

Crinkling her nose, she shook her head. "I already have plans." Mac felt stupid. Of course she had plans. She probably went on dates all the time, so he was nothing special to her. Autumn recognized the look of rejection written on Mac's face and quickly added, "Friday's Halloween, Mac." She could practically see his mental calendar pop up. "We're having a party at my house. You can come if ya want."

Mac hadn't been to a party since he was in his twenties. Even when he had been in college, he always found them to be awkward. He wasn't much of a dancer and didn't excel at small talk. But, how could he turn her down? "Okay." He hoped that she hadn't picked up on his hesitation.

"Okay," she repeated, smiling broadly. "It starts around 8ish."

"I'll be there."

Biting her lip she was silent for a moment. "And Mac, you can't come here anymore." Mac gave her a puzzling look. "It's hard enough for me to get my students to respect me because of my age." Gesturing at Mac, she continued, "I don't need my...whatever coming around and distracting them."

"I understand." And he did. He almost didn't come back today because he felt that he was straddling the line between being charming and being a stalker.

He was almost all the way out of her office, when she called, "And you better show up this time."

Smiling, he nodded, "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

* * *

Mac could hear the pulsating music as soon as he exited the elevator. _This was a bad idea_. Mac had been having second thoughts about this party all week. The door to Autumn's place was open and people were leisurely streaming in and out of the apartment. Mac felt a frown settle onto his face as he passed an alien and a clown making out. He made his way into the living room and looked around for Autumn, but the room was crowded with people in different costumes that Mac doubted he'd even be able to find her. He looked around when he heard his name being shouted over all the noise. Autumn was standing in the kitchen doorway smiling and waving at him. She met him halfway, and had to lean in to be heard over the music, "I was starting to think you weren't going to show again." It was 10:30 and Mac had just ended his shift.

"Yeah, sorry. I just got off work."

"Well, I'm glad you made it. Want something to drink?" Mac nodded and felt his stomach twist when Autumn grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the kitchen. It was much quieter there and Mac felt a little disappointed when she let go of his hand. "So, we have beer, spiked punch, and some hard liquor if ya want." She walked over to the refrigerator and looked in. "And we have some soda, water, and some other nonalcoholic drinks." Closing the fridge door she looked up at Mac expectantly.

"I'll just have a beer."

Autumn nodded and handed him a bottle. "I like your costume. Let me guess...you're a CSI."

Mac couldn't help but smile, "Good guess. I like you're costume, too."

"I'm a naughty schoolgirl." She was wearing a plaid skirt that came a few inches above her knee, tube socks, a white button up shirt that clearly showed off her black bra underneath, and her hair was in pigtails. Her glasses also add an edge to the whole outfit. While it was slutty by any means, it definitely was sexy and Mac found it oddly attractive.

"I noticed," he said simply, taking a swig of his beer. He noticed the hint of color that settled into Autumn's cheeks and was slightly mesmerized by it. Mac was trying to think of something to say when his cell phone rang. He pulled out, and looked apologetically at Autumn. "I need to take this."

"That's okay." She pointed at a set of sliding glass doors at the far end of the kitchen. "That's the balcony. You can talk out there." Mac nodded and made his way outside.

* * *

Mac's phone call had ended twenty minutes ago, but he was still sitting outside. He just kept thinking that maybe he had made a mistake. He was forty-six years old; way too old to be at a kegger. Lost in his thoughts, he didn't notice Autumn until she was handing him a blanket. "Hey, I thought you may be cold," she said softly, leaning against the railing opposite him.

"How old are you?" Mac blurted out.

Autumn crinkled her nose, but didn't say anything about how rude he was being. "Twenty-six."

Mac sighed and slumped forward in his seat. "This isn't going to work." They were both silent for several minutes before Mac finally added, "I'm sorry."

Autumn smirked bitterly. "I don't get you, Mac Taylor. You practically begged for a second chance, but now you're not even gonna give _me_ a chance." Pausing for a moment, she rubbed the back of her neck. She smiled again, but it was less resentful this time. If pressed, Mac would have said that it looked a little sad. "If you're gonna dislike something about me, at least have it be something that I can control, like I make lame jokes or I smile too much. But don't make it something that I have no power over. I'm sorry I was born a couple decades after you, but if you have a problem with that, you need to take it up with either my parents or God...You're right Mac, this isn't going to work. I need a man who has confidence. In himself _and_ in me."

Mac felt something stir in him. Autumn's confidence in herself was a real turn on. He liked that she knew what she deserved and wanted and she went after it. She wouldn't put up with his bullshit, and maybe Stella was right, that was the type of woman that Mac needed. He slowly got to his feet and stalked towards her. Gripping the railing on either side of her, he bent down for a kiss. Pulling away when she finally responded, Mac looked her straight in the eye. "If there's one thing to know about Mac Taylor, it's that he's confident." And then he leaned down for another, deeper kiss. When they pulled apart for the second time, Autumn unconsciously licked her lips and Mac had to resist kissing her again. Instead, he asked, "Wanna go out tomorrow night?"

"Only if you promise never talk to about yourself in the third person again."

Mac gave into the temptation and kissed her again. "Promise."

"It's cold. Let's go inside." Autumn grabbed his hand and led him back inside.

* * *

"What brought you to this side of town?" Mac looked up from his newspaper as soon as Stella sat beside him at the dinner's counter.

"Can't I just come and say hi to my friend?" she asked innocently.

"No." Mac took a drink of his coffee and cocked his eyebrows at her.

"Fine." She threw up her hands. "When I talked to you last night, it sounded like you were at a club."

"Was that a question?"

"Mac," she scolded.

"Remember Autumn?"

"The Badge Girl?"

Mac frowned. "Her name's Autumn."

"Okay, okay." Stella threw up her arms up in surrender. "Yes, I remember Autumn."

"Well, she was having a Halloween party, so I went." He said so nonchalantly, like it was everyday that Mac Taylor went to a party.

Stella's eyes popped. "You went to a party?"

"Yeah."

"You went to a party?" she asked again.

"Yeah."

She swiveled in her seat so that she could get a better look at him. "I'm sorry; I'm not hearing you correctly. _You_ went to a party?"

"Yeah."

She shook her head in disbelief. "You went – "

"Stell," Mac cut her off. "It wasn't like I was dancing on top of a table."

Stella still couldn't believe that Mac had gone to a party, but she decided to move passed it. "Were you wearing a costume?" Frowning, Mac turned his attention back to the newspaper. "Okay, I'm sorry, Mac."

"I'm going out with her again tonight," Mac said quietly.

Stella nodded her head slowly. "That's...great."

Mac could tell that she was holding something back. "But?"

"But, she's kinda young, don't ya think? I mean, she is young enough to have a raging party."

"She's not _that_ young," Mac said lamely.

"How old?" Stella asked with raised eyebrows.

Mac let out a sigh. "Twenty-six."

Laughing, Stella shook her head. "_That_ _is_ young."

"I appreciate your concern, Stell, but you don't even know her."

"Oh, and you do?" Stella's voice had raised a few notches.

She did have a point. Mac didn't know her that well, but he _wanted_ to get to know her. And there was no debating the fact that he was attracted to her. "Better than you do." Taking a deep breath, he tried to control the fiery anger that was building inside of him. "And you seemed so pleased a couple days ago when I told you I asked her out."

"I am pleased that you're finally starting to date again, but I think your choice in women is nothing to be desired about."

Mac's jaw tightened, "So I shouldn't give her a chance because she's young?"

"That's not what I'm saying." Stella snapped.

"That's exactly what you're saying." Mac reached into his pocket and threw down some bills on the counter.

"I just think you should rethink your choice in her."

Mac stood up and flung on his jacket. "Maybe you're just mad that I'm finally happy and I don't need you to take care of me anymore. And by the way, her name is Autumn," he snarled before he left.


	4. The Learning Date

A/N: I'm back! Thanks so much for all the reviews. I hope you all like this chapter. Enjoy and please review!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, except Autumn.

* * *

Autumn hurriedly pulled on her shoes as she dashed for the door. Skidding to a stop, she took a deep breath, ran her hands over her dress, and then opened the door. "Hey, Mac," she grinned. "You're early."

"I didn't wanna risk you thinking I was standing you up again," Mac said bending down for a brief kiss. He let his eyes wander over her as she put on her jacket and felt a heat settle in his belly. She was wearing a knee length, dark blue, strapless dress and blue heels that showed off her toes. Mac wasn't sure what he feeling. Ever since his fight with Stella earlier, he had been second guessing Autumn. Maybe she _was_ too young. Maybe he was having a midlife crisis. Maybe he should just go and buy a convertible instead of dating a twenty-six year old. But then he thought of her and his stomach started to flutter. There was no denying the chemistry they had and the electricity that danced through him when they kissed. He'd just take it day by day and if he was having a midlife crisis and this thing just turned out to be a fling, then at least he'd have fun while it lasted. He reached over to help Autumn put on her coat. "You look amazing, by the way."

Grabbing her purse, she turned back to face him with a bright smile and slight blush. "Thanks. You look nice, too." Mac had quickly changed into a dark red shirt and tie and suit jacket at the lab before he sped over to pick her up.

"So, where are we off to?" she asked as they made their out of the apartment building and towards the parking garage.

"I got us reservations at that new Italian restaurant on 63rd," Mac said simply, guiding her towards his truck.

"Wow!" She looked up at him with wide eyes. "How'd you get reservations there?"

Mac shrugged. "I helped the owner out a couple years ago."

"You got him out of some unpaid parking tickets?" Autumn joked.

"No," Mac shook his head. "His daughter was killed and I solved the case."

"Oh." Autumn felt like an idiot. Of course he had solved a murder; he was a CSI after all. He probably solved crimes everyday and had hundreds of people who owed him favors. Maybe she'd Google him when she got home. No. That felt like cheating. Sure she wanted to learn all about Mac, but she wanted to hear it from him. To hear how _he felt_ solving all those crimes.

There was an awkward silence as Mac helped her into the truck and then proceeded to get in himself and start it up. Mac finally broke the silence as he eased out into traffic. "I hope you like Italian. I figured it was a safe choice because everyone likes Italian."

"Umm…" Autumn trailed off. Looking over at her, he saw that her face was scrunched up.

"Oh no. You don't like Italian." _Goddamn it, Mac_, he thought. _You should have asked. Great start to the date._

Autumn heard the dejected tone in his voice. "It's not that I don't like it." She hated it, in fact, but she'd choke down a couple of noodles if it meant that the date with Mac went well. "I'll just have spaghetti."

"No, we can go somewhere else." Mac took a quick survey of his surroundings and tried to remember what restaurants were in the neighborhood.

"No, Mac!" Autumn insisted, sitting up straighter in her seat. "It's fine. Really. You went to the trouble of calling in a favor and I like to try new things. I'm sure they have fantastic spaghetti." Mac looked over at her skeptically. "Really. That's where I wanna go," she pressed.

Mac looked out the side window and mulled it over for a moment. "Okay," he said nodding his head.

* * *

"I'm sorry, we don't serve spaghetti," the waiter said, looking at Autumn as if she had just asked for a bucket of chicken wings.

"Umm…okay…" Autumn quickly scanned the menu, that was written in Italian, for anything that sounded halfway decent. "I guess I'll have…this," she randomly pointed at something on the menu.

"That's a wine." The waiter rolled his eyes.

"Can you give us another minute," Mac jumped to her rescue. The waiter nodded his head and left their table. "Let's go someplace else."

"No," Autumn said, not bothering to look up from her menu. "If only it was in English," she mumbled to herself.

Mac grabbed her menu and set on the table beside him. "C'mon, Autumn," Mac smiled. "I know a great burger place down the street."

Autumn sighed and looked at him, debating internally. "Sure?" Mac nodded. "Okay." They smiled at each other as they stood up from the table and exited the snotty restaurant.

* * *

"This is much better," Mac said, taking a drink of his water.

Autumn smiled, "It is."

"So." Mac was debating whether or not to ask the question that had had him intrigued since the day he met her. It was probably rude, but he just had to know. "Are you a genius?"

Laughing, Autumn said, "I've never had anyone just come right out and ask like that." Taking a couple deep breaths to control her laughter, she continued, "I don't really like to use the word genius."

"But you're twenty six and are teaching at NYU, so you must be one."

"Well, when you put it like that."

Mac let out a laugh. "Are you one of those child prodigies that started math at six months old?"

"Six months? No. But by the time I was four I could do simple equations. Are you sure you wanna this story?" Mac nodded. "Okay, well I graduated high school when I was twelve, got by Bachelor's at fifteen, Master's at sixteen, and my first Doctorates at seventeen." She was fidgeting with the salt and pepper shakers and Mac wondered if she was nervous.

"Your _first_ Doctorate?" Mac asked with a cocked eyebrow. Autumn nodded her head, not making eye contact. "How many do you have?" She mumbled something, but Mac couldn't understand her. "Excuse me?"

Sighing, Autumn looked up to meet his eyes. "Four." Mac had just taken a sip of his water when she said that. He started half chocking, half laughing. "Are you okay?" Autumn asked urgently.

Mac nodded and took another sip. Once he had calmed down, he looked at her amazed. "You have _four_ Doctorate degrees? I think that qualifies you as a genius." Mac noticed Autumn cringe a little. "You don't like being called that." It was a statement, not a question.

"When you think of geniuses, you think of those socially awkward people who would rather spend time with a chalkboard than actual people. And I like to think that I'm much more of a people person than that."

Mac nodded. He found something comforting in the fact that she a little uncomfortable with her status. It seemed like she realized how smart she was, but she didn't like to flaunt it, and Mac liked that. "Well, I don't know too many socially awkward people who also have keggers."

"It wasn't a kegger," Autumn scoffed.

Mac rolled his eyes, smiling. "Whatever you need to tell yourself."

"Mac!" Autumn laughed. "There was no keg."

"Technicality."

They spent the next two hours talking. Autumn told Mac about growing up in Wyoming and moving away from her family at the age of twelve to go to Yale. She had tried to keep things light, but Mac could hear the strain in her voice and knew that it must have been much harder being different in a small town than she led on. He listened as she talked about her various research topics and was amazed when she revealed that she had created her own theorem. The Cooper Equation did something with binomial mathematics that Mac couldn't quite follow, even as she scribbled it on her napkin and explained it. She had laughed and leaned over the table for a kiss when she noticed Mac's confused look.

She didn't talk about her family and Mac didn't press her because he wasn't ready to talk about Claire or the loss of his dad. But he did talk about growing up in Chicago, his days in the Marines, minus Beirut, and how he had become a CSI. She had listened intently and asked numerous questions. Mac was pleasantly surprised at how easy it was to talk to her. He didn't usually open up this much to anyone, especially not someone he had just met. But there was something about Autumn and the way she smiled at him, laughed at his jokes, and, generally, looked impressed by him that urged Mac to continue talking and letting her in.

"Wanna come back to my place?" Autumn asked as she took the last bite of the slice of pumpkin pie that they'd shared.

Mac finished his cup of coffee and leaned back against the booth. He thought about it for a second. He knew what she meant, but was a little hesitant. He had waited a full month after his first kiss with Peyton before he had made love to her. And it had been eight months before he and Claire had made love because he had been stationed overseas. But Autumn wasn't Claire or Peyton and he wasn't the same man he had once been. He was different, she was different, and if their relationship continued, it would be different. There was no way that she could fill the empty spaces in his heart that had once housed Claire and Peyton, but maybe if he gave her a shot, she could carve out her own place. But was he ready for that? Ready to risk having another woman cut into his life? Yes, he was ready. Nodding his head, he gave her a small smile, "I'd like that."

* * *

Mac and Autumn were all over each other the second they entered the elevator. Mac had her pressed against the back wall and was cupping her ass with one hand and letting the other one work its way into her coat, and up her stomach until it was cupping her breast through her dress. Their lips were fused together in a smoldering kiss and Autumn was pulling Mac as close as possible to herself. She smiled into the kiss as Mac groaned after she brushed her hand over the front of his pants. The door opened with a ding, and the two stumbled out, pulling each other towards Autumn's apartment. She fumbled with her keys, as Mac kissed and licked her neck and let his hands roam her body. It took several moments longer than usual, but finally she pushed open the door and pulled Mac in by his tie. They quickly started undressing each other and heading towards her bedroom when Mac's phone rang. He let if ring for a couple seconds before he reluctantly pulled his lips away from Autumn and looked at the caller id.

"I have to go," he said sighing.

"Work?"

Nodding his head, he started to pull his clothes back on and then looked back up at Autumn. "I'm really sorry."

"Me too," she said softly. Then she gave him a smile and lightly touched his cheek. "But, it's not your fault."

He pulled Autumn in for another kiss before letting his forehead rest against hers. "I have Tuesday night off. How about we continue this then?"

Autumn pulled away and didn't meet Mac's eyes, but he did notice a slight blush on her cheeks. "I…uh…I already have plans."

"Another date?" Mac tried to joke, but Autumn knew he was being serious.

She tried to give him a reassuring smile. "No." And then she said in rushed tone, "I'm a mathlete." Mac frowned in confusion, so Autumn sighed and reluctantly continued. "Every Tuesday we gather at the community center on 43rd and Ford and face other teams in math competitions. We're in the middle of our season right now and our team is undefeated. We're called The Chaos Crew." Her blush intensified as Mac stared at her blankly.

"The Chaos Crew?"

Autumn nodded her head. "Yeah, Chaos is a form of math." Sighing, she turned away from Mac and pulled her dress back on. "And now you think I'm a total geek," she mumbled.

"No." Mac reached out for her. "It's attractive that you have your own interests. I like that in a woman. What time does it start?"

"Seven, but you don't have to come. It's probably gonna be boring."

"I'll be the judge of that. How about after you kick the other team's ass, I take you out to a victory dinner?" Autumn nodded and Mac gave her once last kiss before heading out the door. He'd stop at the bookstore and get an _Idiot's Guide to Math_ book…and maybe one about Chaos.


	5. Unsure

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. My dramatic bone must be kicking in, but I hope you like it. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, except Autumn, Jason, but sadly no Wii (even though I am addicted to Mario Cart).

* * *

"Mac," Stella said quietly as she slid into the seat next him.

"Stella." Mac didn't bother looking up from the newspaper. The only time that the two had talked in the last week was when it involved a case. Tensions were running high at the Lab and Mac had to admit that he missed his friend. But he was stubborn and knew that, in this case, he had been right and he wasn't willing to back down.

Sighing, Stella rolled her eyes, "I'm sorry." Mac put down his paper, looked at Stella, but remained silent. "I shouldn't have judged Badge – " Mac cocked his eyebrows and Stella held his hands up in surrender, " – Sorry, Autumn. I am genuinely pleased for you, Mac. I'm so happy that you are finally moving on and if you think Autumn is the right girl for you, then I think you should go for it."

Mac thought it for a second, and then gave Stella a half smile, "Thanks, Stell."

"So, have you gone out with her again?" Mac chuckled at how easily Stella could slip back into friend mode.

"Yeah, I went to her mathlete competition a couple of nights again."

"Mathletes?" Stella voice was filled with laughter and skepticism.

"It's bizarre, I know. She gets together with some other math geniuses and their teams compete to see who can do math problems the quickest, except that they're up there doing extremely complicated math. Its way more advanced than any of the stuff I took in college."

"So, she's smart."

Taking a sip of his coffee, Mac nodded his head. "She's not just smart, Stell. It's like being around Albert Einstein. Claire and Peyton had both been smart, but nothing like Autumn. She's...she's really something."

"You like her," Stella said simply.

Mac shrugged his shoulders and thought about it for a moment. Autumn was so different from anyone else he had ever dated. She was lively and bright and wasn't afraid to argue with him, which wasn't something that Mac was used to. He wasn't at all sure what he was doing with her, but he was having fun and knew that he was looking forward to their next date. "Yeah. I guess I do."

Pulling a file out of her bag, she handed it to him. "Then you should read this."

"What is this?" Flipping it open he saw a picture of Autumn paper clipped to a small stack of papers. He immediately knew what it was but had to ask anyway. "Is this her personnel file?"

"Don't' get mad, but – "

Mac quickly cut Stella off. "Don't get mad?" he barked. "How'd you even get this?"

"I have a friend at NYU's personnel office. She made me a copy of Autumn's file." As if reading his mind, she answered his next question. She spoke calmly but quickly, wanting to say what she wanted before he got really angry. "I just wanted to learn more about her. She doesn't have a criminal record, so I got her file. There are some interesting things that you should know about her, Mac."

"You had no right to go and investigate my..."

"Girlfriend?"

Mac looked at her with coldly and snarled, "You had no right. She'll tell me when she's ready."

Shrugging her shoulders, Stella got up to leave. "Just read it Mac."

* * *

"You know the more you play this game, the more you…SUCK!" Jason laughed in Autumn's face as he did an awkward victory dance.

"It's all a part of my strategy," Autumn mumbled. She hated playing Wii bowling because she was so horribly bad at it. "How about we play Mario Cart?"

"No," Jason said shortly, making his way to kitchen.

Flopping back down on the couch, Autumn called, "You just know that I'll kick your scrawny little ass if we play it."

"So," Jason changed the subject and not to carefully threw a water bottle at her, hitting her in the head. "Sorry. So, does Mac have a big penis?"

Autumn almost chocked on her water, "Excuse me?"

Never one to be shy Jason repeated, "Does Mac have a big penis? He looks like the type of guy who would have an almost painfully big – "

Autumn could feel her face flush. "I am _not_ having this conversation with you."

"Oh my god, you guys haven't done it yet. What are you waiting for?" Jason lifted up her feet, sat down on the couch beside her, and laid her legs back on his lap.

"I'm really not having this conversation with you."

"Is he small?"

"Shut up Jason!" she said kicking him lightly in the rib. "We just haven't had the chance yet. So, some crazy weather we've been having. No snow and it's already November," Autumn said, desperately wanting to change the subject.

Jason didn't take the bait, "What about on Tuesday after your little math geek competition?"

She finally figured that the quickest way to end this conversation was to just tell Jason the truth. "He got called into work. Again."

"Is that a hint of bitterness I dedicate in your voice?" Jason's question was met with silence, and that was a good enough answer for him. "Well, if I were you, I'd just handcuff him to the bed." He thought about the visual for a second. "Yes, he'd be sexy looking all submissive."

"Jason!" She kicked him harder this time. "Can you stop visualizing my…"

He immediately picked up on her almost-slip. "Your what? Your _boyfriend_?"

"I hate you," Autumn huffed.

"You know you love me. Aren't you guys going out tonight?"

"Yep."

"Well, then you guys can get it on."

"He's on secondary call tonight."

"And that means he can't have sex?"

"No, it just means that he'll probably get called into work."

"But he can have sex, yes?"

"I don't know," Autumn snapped. Jumping up, she headed for her room to start getting ready. "I'm really not up on the detective sex protocol."

"No need to get bitchy," Jason said calmly, following her back to her room and laid down on her bed.

"I just really don't want to talk to you about any of this."

"You've never had a problem sharing all the juicy details with me before."

Jason had a point and Autumn knew it. She had always been pretty open with him. She never went into excruciating detail about her sex life, but she would gab to him about what her dates were like and whether or not they were good kissers. But Mac was different. She wanted to keep him all to herself. To keep whatever they had going just for herself. "Mac's just…different."

She held out two shirts for Jason to pick from. "The purple one; it shows off your boobs better." Ignoring her eye roll, he continued softly, "You like him." Looking up from her jewelry box, she turned around to face him. Nodding, her smile grew into a broad grin. "Have you told him?"

The grin was gone and she turned back to her jewelry. "Told him what?"

"Autumn."

Of course she knew what he was talking about. It was all she could think about. She knew she should tell him; it was the right thing to do and he deserved to know. But it was too soon. She wanted to hang onto him for a little while longer before she told him and he left her like everyone did. She just needed a little more time with Mac Taylor before things were over. "Not yet."

Jason nodded, already knowing that was going to be the answer. He spoke quietly, as if knowing that his words were going to break her, "He deserves to know. He's not like the rest of them. He's not a one night stand."

Jason barely heard her when she said, "That's why I _can't _tell him."

* * *

"Hey," Mac greeted Autumn when she answered the door.

"Hi," she said quietly and went to grab her purse. She couldn't get her mind off the conversation she had earlier with Jason.

Mac quickly picked up on Autumn's odd behavior. "Is everything okay?"

"What?" she looked up from her where she digging around in her purse. "Yeah. Everything's great." She planted a smile on her face. "Found them!" she beamed, holding up her car keys. Mac knew that she was lying to him, but decided not to push. Instead he bent down for a kiss and let his hand tangle in her soft hair. "C'mon. The movie starts in forty minutes." Mac let Autumn pull him towards the elevator.

Two hours later Autumn was sitting restlessly in the middle of the movie theatre. The movie sucked and it didn't matter that Ben Affleck was running shirtless; she could only focus on the heat of Mac's hand burning into her jeans. His hand was resting lightly on her thigh in just the right spot. Not too high on her leg to be inappropriate, but high enough to let her know what they could be doing instead. The last straw came when Mac ever so lightly gave it a squeeze. Jumping to her feet, she grabbed Mac's hand and jerked him down the aisle and out of the theatre. Once they were out in the hall, Autumn made sure the coast was clear before pushing Mac against the wall and kissing him deeply. Mac was aware of their surroundings and knew that they could get caught any second, but at the moment all he cared about was the feeling of Autumn pressed up against him. He pulled away before he lost control. "Let's take this someplace more private," he whispered in her ear.

And then it dawned on Autumn. "You planned this."

"Why would I do that?" Mac asked with a twinkle in his eye.

She smirked and let him pull her outside into the chilly air. "Your place?" Mac nodded and hailed a cab noting the way Autumn didn't stop touching him. He hoped the driver would be fast. _Hell_, Mac thought as Autumn hugged his side, pressing her breasts into him, _I'll flash my badge if I have to._

* * *

Autumn knew that what they were doing was wrong. She should stop and tell him before they made love. Because that's what they were doing. They were making love. Autumn knew it wouldn't just be sex or a quick fuck the second that Mac led her into his apartment and she let herself drown in the feeling of him. The way he had stopped kissing her urgently and started to kiss her slowly and gently, as if he wanted to take his time and make it last. The way he had quite grabbing at her and let his hands lightly wander over her body, touching her everywhere. The way his hands had felt as they slid up her stomach and over her breasts as he pulled off her shirt. The way he had gently squeezed her ass when he slid off her jeans. The way his hands had sprawled across her back when he tenderly laid her down in the middle of his bed. The way it seemed he had instantly known all the places to kiss, lick, and suck to drive her crazy. The way he had made sure she was completely satisfied before he let himself be satisfied.

She knew she should stop him. But then she decided that she'd let herself have one night. One night to feel loved. One night to feel safe before she let it all go.

* * *

A/N: So, this chapter turned out _completely_ different than what I had originally planned, so _please_ tell me what you think. Thanks for reading.


	6. Snowy Confessions

A/N: I'm back! Thanks so much for all the reviews. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, except Autumn.

* * *

"Mac, get up." Mac jolted awake at the sound Autumn's voice. He saw her standing in the middle of the room wearing his button down shirt and quickly pulling on her jeans.

"What's wrong?" he asked urgently. He gave the room a quick onceover to see if anything was obviously wrong. Finding nothing out of the ordinary, he looked back at Autumn with a concerned look.

"Get up," she repeated and pointed to the window. "It's the first snow of the season." Mac groaned and flopped back down, pulling the covers over his chest. "C'mon, Mac," Autumn said, gently tugging on his hand. "I love the snow."

"It's three in the morning. I am _not_ going out there." Mac pulled Autumn so that she was laying on top of him.

"Fine, be like that Old Man." Autumn gave him a peck on the lips. "But I'm going out there." She pushed herself off his bed and headed out of the room.

Sighing, Mac threw off the covers and climbed out of bed. "I'll show her Old Man," he mumbled to himself. Walking to his dresser he put on a pair of sweats and grabbed two hoodies. He pulled one on as he walked out to the living room. "Put this on," he said throwing the hoodie in Autumn's general direction.

Looking up from where she was putting on her shoes, she beamed at Mac. "Thanks! You're not going to regret this." Mac didn't say anything as he put on his own shoes, but he found that his annoyance was subsiding at the sight of Autumn's smile. "Shouldn't you like the fall better than winter?"

Laughing, she waited for Mac to lock the door before she skipped giddily to the elevator. "Probably. Walk faster!" Once they were outside, they quickly made their way across the street to a little park that Mac had never been to. "Isn't it beautiful?" Autumn asked, stopping in her tracks to glance around.

"It's a swing set," Mac said plainly.

Rolling her eyes, Autumn made her way farther into the playground. "Snow always seems to cover up all the dirtiness of the city. It covers the ugly and leaves only beauty." She stopped to wipe some snow off the seat of a swing and then plopped down and started to push herself off the ground. "Don't you just love the city in the winter?"

Mac approached the swings from behind and gave her a gentle push. "I guess," he said unconvincingly.

"It smells different. It sounds different. It looks different. Everyone's nicer. Everyone's happier."

Mac smiled at the tone of amazement he heard in her voice. "I guess I've never really thought about it."

The two were silent for several minutes, both enjoying the feeling of being with the other as the snow gently fell all around them. Mac finally stopped pushing her and sat down backwards on the swing beside her so that they were facing each other. Letting his feet drag in the dirt snow mix that covered the ground, he took a moment to study Autumn. She seemed to be glowing as the snow melted in her hair. He cheeks were red from where the wind was hitting her face and her glasses fogged with each breath she took. "You look really pretty." The phrase had slipped out of Mac's mouth before he registered what he was saying.

Autumn looked down from where she had been studying the sky to look at him. She wasn't smiling, in fact she looked serious, and Mac was afraid he had broken some sort of silent rule. "I need to tell you something, Mac," she said quietly.

"What is it?"

She was silent for a minute, biting her lip. She knew, _knew_, that she should tell him. But last night had been so perfect and now here they were sitting in the snow and he had just called her pretty. _Once we get serious, I'll tell him_, Autumn told herself pushing aside the nagging voice telling her she was lying to herself. Looking up at him, she saw him looking at her with a bemused look on his face. "I really like you."

Mac was confused. Part of him was ecstatic that she felt the same way. But the other part knew there was more to it. That couldn't be what she wanted to tell him. "I like you, too, Autumn." Grabbing the chain of her swig, he pulled her closer and gave her a sweet kiss. "Is that all you wanted to say?" Autumn was silent, so Mac reached over and lightly touched her cheek. "I know we haven't known each other that long, but I really like you, Autumn. This isn't just a fling or a one night stand for me."

"Me neither," she said softly.

Mac nudged her head up until he had caught her eye, "Then you can tell me anything."

His gentle words and touch pushed her over the edge. If he was going to leave her, then at least she had one night to remember him. "I'm sick."

"Well, then let's go back inside and outta the snow." Standing up, he reached for hand, but she shook her head.

"No. You don't understand. I'm not well." Taking a deep breath, she gave Mac a weak smile. "I have Hodgkin lymphoma."

"Hodgkin's Disease?" Autumn nodded her head. Mac felt like he had just been hit by a bus. She didn't look ill. She seemed perfectly healthy. Stumbling back from the impact of her confession, he slumped into his swing. "I don't understand. You're not old. Hodgkin's Disease affects older people."

"It can also sometimes affect children. I'm in remission right now, but there's a good chance that it'll come back." Running her hands over her face, she took a deep breath and felt the cold air burn her lungs. "I know this is a lot to digest at once. So, take some time and think. And whatever you decide is okay. I won't blame you." She rose to her feet and touched Mac's hand so lightly, he wasn't sure if she had really even touched him. "I'm gonna take a cab home."

Normally he would have insisted that she spend what was left of the night at his place, but he had become paralyzed. So many thoughts were raging through his head. He had watched his father slowly and painfully die from cancer and he wasn't sure if he could watch another person he cared about wither away into nothingness.

* * *

A/N: Dun, dun, dun. There it is. Her big, dark secret. I'm not really sure where this idea came from, but I'll roll with it. I know it's short, but I hope it tides you over until after the holidays. Thanks for reading and please review.


End file.
